NOTES: Charmed is not mine, no profit for me. Written for Remixredux III. Story remixed: Regrets: by Lilian. Thanks to Mosca.

Regrets (the Don't You Forget About Me mix)

Chris's memories shift. He remembers that he remembered differently the day before. He stays because he can still recall Wyatt. Evil and insane. Wyatt's killed so many people and Chris still remembers that.

He should have listened more as a kid. As all those kids he was, he guesses, because he remembers something about this Tribunal, something about Phoebe losing her powers for a little bit. She talked about it. He knows she did. He can see her, grinning, braiding her daughter's hair (why does Chris think he remembers that girl with a different name? Why would the things he's done change what Phoebe names her daughter? Pearl, he thinks, but once he thought it was something else, he grew up with his cousin) and she said, "It was horrible, but you know, it was right. I was being selfish. It's not just about power." Chris has a picture in his head of Wyatt with his head down, ignoring Phoebe.

He has to focus on now because he can't trust his memories. Maybe he'll remember something else in an hour.

Except they bring back the possessed officer, they vanquish the phantasm. And Barbas sneers at Phoebe like he's won anyway.

Phoebe lived longer than Piper and Paige. That hasn't changed. In his memory, his mother still dies and his aunt after her. He and Wyatt grow up in the mansion with Phoebe and her daughter. Pearl. Phoebe told him about Barbas, too. She loved to talk about when things were better and her sisters were alive. Wyatt didn't listen as much; Chris thought it was because Wyatt was still grieving. And Phoebe said - he doesn't remember.

Barbas says, "For selfish behavior like that, there's got to be a punishment."

It was late at night and Phoebe had made hot chocolate. Chris was sixteen and he'd outgrown hot chocolate as a cure-all sometime even before his mother's funeral but Phoebe was trying. (He remembers something else, he did once. It was rum she poured into his coke and said, "God, I know. But times like these, a little drink won't be the thing that kills you." He was going to tell Phoebe about that once, make a joke, but the next day he didn't remember at all and now all he has is a ghost of that thought. Her words, the look of her wrist and the ring on her finger. Now he remembers hot chocolate so clearly which has to be a change for the better.)

Phoebe said, "Did I ever tell you about Cole?" He rolled his eyes. Phoebe laughed, now he remembers her then (in the future) as being able to laugh genuinely. "I know, I know, I've told you about him a million times. It's just, I was thinking of him. When we were looking through the book. About the Tribunal."

"When they took your powers for being selfish?" He smirked because it was funny, then, people on high that could do anything at all and actually watched and cared. No one was looking after them and no one stopped Wyatt.

"This demon, Barbas, god, I hated him. So hated him. Anyway, they were showing our past and there was Cole. I had worked so hard to get him out of my head. I just shoved it down, I shoved away the feelings. But he was there. He was so beautiful. He loved me so much. I loved him so much. I was thinking about him the whole time from the first time I saw him in that Circle of Truth."

In the Tribunal chamber, Phoebe says, "It's okay. I mean, it might be kind of refreshing to not rely on my powers so much anymore, you know?" She glances at the Tribunal, still sitting and watching her. "Besides, they're not the only ones that think I've been misusing them."

She's thinking of Cole. She told him that, in every memory he has or had. Now he sees her leaning over a cup of hot chocolate in a chipped red mug (they couldn't afford much, before Wyatt decided the rules didn't apply to him and he wanted to live differently) and she said, "I was desperate to have that child, the one I saw. I knew she was in my future. And I think I saw you there, too, first time I knew Piper would have another baby. You were an adorable baby." He rolled his eyes again.

She said, "None of those guys would have been right. They would never have been Cole. I was so afraid of admitting that, of how much I felt for him. I had to write him out of my head because he was so much to me. Don't do that, Chris," and she reached across and held his hand. "Don't forget your mom or Paige because it hurts." She said it to the wrong son, but she tried.

Chris's memories shift like sand. Wyatt always turns because of something that happened here, his mother always dies, Leo always leaves. Phoebe always has a daughter. He can't remember the father's name and he wonders if that's shifting, too. He hopes it's a change for the better for all of them.


*Some dialogue from the Charmed episode "Crimes and Witch Demeanors" written by Henry Alonso Myers.

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