DISCLAIMER: So not mine. NOTES: Mad props to Jess. Huge thanks to Shana and Luna. Title from the Lemonheads. A separate thanks to Chris, who said that explicit gay sex is never inappropriate.
It was hardly great sex, Dan thought. Somewhat because he kept feeling these bursts of fear about what would happen tomorrow when Casey sobered up and then Dan was only half hard at times with worry. Somewhat because Casey may have mulled over this drunken pass for weeks or months or years but he certainly hadn't ever acted on it and he really didn't have much of an idea what he was doing.
Casey had been distant and weird all day, and after 4 whiskeys at Anthony's had insisted Dan take him home, to Dan's home, and then had kissed him on the couch. A failed kiss on the side of his mouth, because Dan had been turned towards the TV. Then Casey had blurted out things like "I want," and "I know you've done this before," and "You're so fucking hot." A bit of back and forth and then there they were, in Dan's bed.
At least Casey could kiss. That part was fine - he wasn't just shoving his tongue around, and it was sensual and sweet. Casey lay on his side, half resting on Dan and he moved his hands over Dan's neck and shoulder gently.
Whatever alcohol induced sabbatical Casey had decided this was, he seemed determined to make it something to remember. Casey's lips and tongue and fingers were hot and soft and wet all over him, working down his chest. Then Casey started talking and sounded so drunk that Dan started being less turned-on and more worried. Casey said, "You have these tiny scars on your ribs..."
Casey had had to get completely wasted to launch this plan, Dan thought, and he rubbed Casey's head. He said, loudly, "I was mauled by a bear."
Casey looked up, disbelieving. Dan said, "I don't like to talk about it." Casey went back to tasting his way down Dan's chest. Dan was hard again, and he closed his eyes, tracking Casey's progress from chest to stomach to hips to thighs. Casey left wet trails from his tongue and Dan was cold where Casey had just left and burning hot where Casey was.
Then Casey finally got to the blowjob part and was clumsy at it. He didn't use his hands and while he had apparently received enough blowjobs in his life to know to be careful with his teeth, the rest was just licking and sucking. Dan gently pushed him off of him and went to work on Casey with the instructional implications clear.
Dan did use his hands, gently spreading Casey's legs and cupping his balls as he began teasing the head of Casey's cock with his tongue. He moved one hand to the base of Casey's cock and let the other hand wander back and forth between his balls and his ass. After a few more long licks, he took the entire length in his mouth. Casey moaned and his hands clutched the bed sheet. It didn't take much more because Casey had been hard since the couch and Dan swallowed it all.
Dan rested his head on Casey's warm, sweaty stomach, curling around Casey's legs. He closed his eyes. Casey started to mumble something about wanting the whole hog, but maybe not tonight, after all. He still sounded very drunk. Casey stroked Dan's head, running his fingers through the short hair. Casey said again that Dan was so fucking hot. Then Casey sat up a little and said, "Hey. Are you - should I?" Dan meant to say no, but CCCasey's hands in hair and his warm body beneath him had gotten him hard and turned on again and he scooted up on the bed.
Casey had caught some of Dan's pointed hints and his second try at giving head was more successful than the first. He used his hands a little and didn't just slobber over it. Dan thought Casey had risen to about the same skill level as the drunk girls at parties in high school. He closed his eyes again and felt Casey's warm hands on his ass, seeing stars in the dark. He came and Casey tried to swallow but ended up spitting half of it on Dan's stomach. Dan felt warm and good all over for a few seconds.
He lay still as Casey rested his forehead on his chest and mumbled out apologies. Dan turned and found his t-shirt on the floor. He used it to wipe Casey's mouth and chin and then clean himself up. He balled up the shirt and threw it in the hamper. He felt naked and awkward. Casey grabbed at Dan and pulled him close. Casey kissed him again, and then began kissing his neck and along his collarbone.
Dan said, "I'm cold, Casey -" and Casey mumbled back that Dan wasn't cold; he was fucking hot. Dan sighed, and Casey pulled the sheets over the two of them, tucking the sheet around Dan and squeezing his ass again in the process.
Casey was half resting on Dan again and he said, "Wanted you for so long. So hot." Dan rubbed the back of Casey's head and wondered which of the things he'd said tonight Casey would be most desperate to take back when he sobered up.
Dan said he wanted to brush his teeth and started to untuck the sheet. Casey clutched at him a little and said, "I'm a bear, too," right before he fell asleep. Dan slipped out Casey's arms and put on his boxers and some sweats. He stood and looked at Casey, sprawling diagonally over the entire bed. He went out to the living room, turned on ESPN Classic and fell asleep on the couch.
Dan woke with a start. He looked up and saw Casey sitting at the table with his back to the couch. His shoulders looked tense and his hair was wet from the shower. Dan could smell coffee. He said hey and his voice sounded tentative and squeaky, no alcohol to mitigate the fear. Casey didn't turn around, but he did say good morning, sounding gravelly and pained.
Dan got up from the couch and said something about a shower and tried not to run to the shower. He shaved, straightened the bedroom and put on clean jeans and his Nirvana t-shirt. He headed back to the kitchen.
Casey stood leaning over the sink, looking green. Dan asked if he was okay.
"Just - you know, hung over. A little nauseous."
"Yeah. We both drank a lot last night." Dan thought that was a safe opening gambit.
Casey said, "Danny. You slept on the couch." It was kind of a question, Dan thought. He thought about how to fudge his answer, to make it nicer.
"I couldn't sleep, but I put on ESPN Classic and I fell asleep out here. Sorry." Casey wrinkled his nose at the sorry.
"You're the one who does this all the time - what - what do we do now?" Casey said, almost belligerently.
Dan backed up from him and said, "Dude. I'm not Ricky Martin or something. I've slept with, like, ten guys in my life and most of those were one-night stands, so you know - I don't really have a manual here."
Casey looked down at the sink and said, "Danny. You. I thought, yesterday that you. I mean you kissed me. But - you're not?"
Dan couldn't think of any way to fudge that one. He stood by the refrigerator and looked at the pizza delivery magnets and baseball schedules on the refrigerator door. "Casey. It's not that I don't, you know, care about you..."
Casey leaned more over the sink and clutched his stomach. He didn't throw up, though; just put his hands on the faucet and rested his head on his hands. Casey said, sounding almost petulant, "You like guys. And at the thing last week, the Quo Vadimus welcomes us party, you kissed me."
Dan rubbed his eyes and then looked down at the tiled floor. "I like some guys and I like some girls - I was joking when I kissed you. I kissed Jeremy, too, you know. Casey, seriously, it's not, you know, personal. You're a very attractive guy, I'm just not..."
Dan watched Casey leaning on his hands. He tried to think of something comforting to say. He wanted Casey to laugh. "Well. You must find guys other than me hot, you know, maybe we could set you up with one of those guys."
Casey snorted. "No thanks. I was. I was really drunk last night and that's that."
"No, seriously, who do you think is hot? I mean, guys."
Casey said quietly, "Mostly just you." Dan frowned and looked back at the refrigerator. Then Casey said, still quietly, "My tenth grade English teacher. A-Rod. Sometimes, Allen Iverson. Um. Bret Boone."
Dan turned away and tried to imagine Casey with Allen Iverson. He wanted to giggle and felt guilty and simply said okay. Then Casey said, "But mostly just you," with a sigh and Dan didn't want to laugh anymore.
Dan sighed. "Well. I mean, now you know, and that's good, right?"
"I know you're not attracted to me, and that's good? Hmm. Let me think." Casey said.
"No - I mean, you've been thinking these things and not doing anything about it, and now you know that you do like it. And you can, maybe, find someone who does want you." Dan started playing with the magnets, moving them around so he didn't look at Casey. He said, "It's not like you're not hot. It's just - you see beautiful women, or people, I guess, every day and with some of them, there's just, you know, no spark."
Casey spat into the sink. He mumbled yeah and looked green again.
Dan said, "And really, if I did find you hot, it would be kind of sad that we didn't do anything about it for all these years. And we're friends, and we work together, so it's kinda for the best." Dan just wanted Casey to laugh, to not feel bad about this. "I mean I don't want to stand in the way of you and Allen Iverson."
Casey glared at him. He moved his hands to the side of the sink and said, "I'm going to throw up now." Then he did. Dan opened the refrigerator and found a half full bottle of Evian, which he handed to Casey after he finished puking.
Casey wiped his mouth and turned away from the sink after washing the vomit down the drain. He started laughing. "Did you ever have a girl, or, uh, someone throw up when they were going down on you?"
Dan laughed. "Yeah, just once, thank God. I was in high school, and at this party. The guy throwing the party, his girlfriend drags me to some bedroom upstairs, pulls down my pants and starts, you know, going down. And then suddenly she pulls away from me and pukes all over me, my jeans, the floor." Dan rubbed his forehead. "I was a complete asshole. She's half crying on the floor, and all sick and all I can think is, how do I get the fuck out of here without her boyfriend killing me?"
Casey was smiling, and Dan relaxed a little. Casey said, "What did you do?"
"What I did - I used my shirt to clean most of it up and then ducked into the bathroom and washed out the shirt as best I could. Then I ran downstairs and told someone, as I was running out the door, that Doreen was kinda sick upstairs. I went straight home and washed my jeans and my shirt in the sink and took a long, long hot shower. At 3 am! My Dad's standing outside the bathroom, yelling at me. 'It's 3 am, Danny! Take your damn shower in the morning!' I didn't want to say, 'Dad! I've got puke on my balls!'" Casey laughed and Dan grinned back at him.
Casey drank the bottle of Evian and walked over to the table. He sat down and looked at the paper. He looked up at Dan. "Okay. So, seriously, I was really drunk last night. I'm, you know, I'm sorry. And also, thank you." Casey's voice cracked a little on the last part. "And that's really all we need to say. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't make too many Allen Iverson jokes."
Dan grinned at him. "Okay. But A-Rod and Bret Boone jokes, those are okay?" Casey shook his head, but he also laughed and Dan felt all his dread dissipate.
Then Casey said, "You weren't really mauled by a bear, right?"
Dan poured himself a cup of coffee. "I'll never tell."
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